does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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