So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When are your genitals available?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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