he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
