...so i touched it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
