I can text with my tongue
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
