Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
should my penis look like a turkey
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
