i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
