You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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