Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
my poor anus
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
