Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
whose parrot is this?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
