I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
