I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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