This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
