i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
