remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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