Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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