her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
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He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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