you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
