Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize