How'd it feel making her break her religion?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
