i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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