That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
