dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
