he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
