yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
