I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
