quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
