i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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