Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
