yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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