Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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