apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
