Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
