we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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