your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
