I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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