i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
