I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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