She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
