Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
