his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
