ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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