The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
