SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
ttyl tear gas
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
