I think my vagina is haunted
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize