Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
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Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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