watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
