no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
