I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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