Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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