I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize