We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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