im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
vagina is talking i cant
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
