This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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