I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
