I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
