I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
