i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
